America's Next Top Gay BFF - Deconstructing LGBTQ+ Stereotypes in Media

                                                 We've all seen the shows. 

You know, the ones with a fiercely flamboyant gay (usually white) cisgender man, whose main job is to sass it up for comic relief in an otherwise typical heteronormative plot. #ThanksABC #AlsoNBC 

The plot of these shows are never really about him though, unless of course it was produced by LOGO TV, but at least he's there right? At least there is some kind of Queer representation right? 

But what happens when this character archetype begins to "speak" for the entire Queer Community? MADNESS THAT'S WHAT.

           Enter the problematic nature of Gay Best Friend, or commonly referred to as the "GBF."

He's a "sweet guy." Usually an All-American (I'm talking Bernie, not Hilary) who just wants to go shopping, talk about mutual boy crushes, and remind you that you are a strong independent woman and that Chad/Todd/Adam/Josh/etc does not deserve you.  He makes you feel like you need to do this snapping motion whenever he's around.

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He's everything you've ever wanted in a GBF. He's sensitive like your girl friends, yet still rugged and handsome like the men who you can't seem to make stay (well until the last 15 minutes of the movie or show when your crush shows up and suddenly wants you and you kiss while The Cranberries play in the background).
He's either ridiculously good looking, like a Greek God, OR he's adorable and "fabulous."
Either way you craft this character to fit your needs- he's "non-threatening" and someone you can really connect with. And feminine. Always feminine. As if being feminine is a requirement for being a gay man in a straight man's world.

Oh wait, it is.
I wonder who set that up? I wonder how these messages about what being a good GBF affect real Queer people in Real Life.

Life imitates art.
Funny how that works.

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The issue with the GBF is that this character is not representative of all Queer people. When mainstream media adds a GBF to a cast of all straight characters it is usually with the intention of making a cast more "diverse," when in fact what really ends up happening is you end up placing the character into a box in which they can never get out of. 

Never grow from. 

Never develop into something or someone grandeur. 

The only problems they face will be problems that directly interact with their sexual identity, or whatever other stereotype you are forcing them to emulate. Media consumers take in these messages and then translate them into their subconscious belief of what the Queer experience must truly be like. This affects the way we interact with each other, even when the show is over and the TV is off.

By reinforcing these stereotypes in media, we as a society, actually end up tokenizing people rather than just allowing them to exist as they are. Having a "token" GBF doesn't mean your content is diverse, it just means that you are only giving perfunctory or symbolic effort to create representation for a small number of people from underrepresented groups in order to give the appearance of sexual or racial equality within a environment.

                                              Not cool.

http://giphy.com/gifs/modern-family-cameron-tucker-cam-Q3XePk0TUWnjW

Stereotyping is the act of placing people into a widely held (but fixed and oversimplified) image or idea of a particular type of person or thing. 

What's interesting is that knowledge of what stereotypes are and how untrue they can be still someone doesn’t necessarily translate into a belief that these images of a certain group are not the end-all-be-all-catch-all for their experience. So how do people learn about other identity groups they may not be a part of without interacting with directly them? Simple. By creating identity frameworks through the media that people can easily access and understand, all of which need to give realistic representations of what people are truly like.

Great ideology in theory, a bit tricky in practice. 

Unfortunately, what we typically see happen is mainstream media takes a very small, narrow view of a certain identity group, funnel it through very expensive and institutionalized social construction machines, and VIOLA we have a new pilot for an ABC show that has more Queer representation than ever before - only problem with this is that we believe we're gaining more media influence when really we are receiving the same representation, just regurgitated with a new name and face. It's the same character, with different lines. 

Take for example, Cam from the popular show Modern Family.

First let me start by saying this show is absolutely hilarious. And usually does a pretty good job of calling out identity inequities and making fun of them in a self aware and socially conscious way. With that being said, I chose to analyze Cam's character because his representation has been able to penetrate American media's consumer in an acceptable way. His humor and happy-go-lucky demeanor make him relatable to the general public while his Queer identity make him just "taboo" enough to be a spectacle. 

http://giphy.com/gifs/modern-family-cameron-tucker-cam-jwsZ7YLYrq8UM

Cam's feminine behavior and sassy candor make him a great example of how the image of the GBF is becoming the new standard for gay men in media. Much like the Model Minority Myth, which is basically the perception that "Asian cultural values" (hard work, family cohesion, self-sufficiency, drive for success) propelled recent immigrants into and beyond American middle class quickly, the GBF archetype creates one image of how Gay men should act, talk, dress, walk, etc and does little to challenge any other possibility outside of this box. 

Canada's Center for Digital and Media Literacy have done extensive research on the problematic nature of Queer Stereotyping in main stream media. The Center suggests "When discussing media representation of various groups, especially those we consider marginalized, stereotypes are often a primary concern. But sometimes, breaking a stereotype doesn’t go quite far enough, and the issue can be a little more complicated than merely determining whether or not a character is represented in a positive or negative way." 

I reference the Canada's Center for Digital and Media Literacy to point out that I am not saying that the GBF stereotype is either positive or negative, yet I am merely trying to recognize that regardless of the GBF's behavior during the show or movie, the job of breaking the stereotype is not on the GBF character but more so on the character's around them and how they are treated. This then translate to the larger implications of how people with commonly held dominate identities treat marginalized groups in real life.

We take in messages from the media and they directly influence how we show up in real life. Do not naively believe that these two worlds do not influence each other, because they absolutely do.

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In the scene below, we see Cam being a good GBF and helping his friend Gloria find her lost dog. That she hates. So much. And the only reason she is trying to find the dog in the first place is because her husband loves the dog and she doesn't want him to know she lost her out of fear of upsetting him and looking irresponsible. LOOK AT THAT - Heternormativity strikes again. OK, back to the scene. 

Cam calls his husband Mitchell, an arguably "more macho" gay man on the show, yet that statement is really pushing it. Cam then proceeds to reference a scene from the popular drama A Street Car Named Desire, because clearly since he's a gay man he is a fan of the arts, and he then proceeds to act out the scene in a dramatic and flamboyant manner. Though the scene is funny, it is also very apparent what stereotypes the writers were toying with to get their humor across. 

From my experience, I can see how stereotyping impedes communication in at least 4 ways:

1.  They reinforce the assumptions that widely held beliefs are true when this may not be the case for all people who hold stereotypical identities.

1.  They have a self-perpetuating nature, meaning the more we see them and talk about them, the more prevalent they seem, thus the more they are reinforced. It's a vicious cycle really. #StopStereotyping2k16

1. They link widely held belief about a group to an individual and that inversely causes them to be placed in a confined space in which they can exist. This makes people feel like they have no autonomy. 

1. They typically have a self-fulfilling prophecy, meaning some individuals may then feel as though they need to uphold certain stereotypes in order to feel as though they are "normal." This perpetuates that cycle I was talking about. 

My advice: Combat automatic and subconscious stereotyping intrinsically. Stereotypes function like bad habits and their consequences may be spontaneous and undesirable, so try your best to deconstruct all the messages you have been conditioned to believe to be true.

There is nothing wrong with having a GBF, as long as that person is your BF because you genuinely care for them and want to support and understand them, not just because they're gay. 

- K